I heard his cry for the first time. The doctor laid Kai on me. I felt his fuzzy skin and smelled his amazing baby smell. I was a first time mom and I loved him. Through these eight years I have settled on three pieces of advice for the challenging times of motherhood that I want to share with you.
Advice #1 – Focus on what God asks of you
As moms, most of the time, we walk through this life with the pressure of trying to be everything for everyone. We become masters at multitasking, or at least we think we are. (modern science actually says multitasking is a myth)
Sometimes we rely so much on ourselves that we stop asking for help and/or advice.
The truth is that we are only human, (although sometimes we achieve things that only Wonder Woman should be able to, like taking four kids to do grocery shopping!) and our ability to execute tasks is limited.
But what does God ask of us?
“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”
Being a mom is not about how many crafts you do with your kids every week, or feeling anxiety because you think you didn’t do enough and now your child might not be #1 in their class at reading or math.
Instead of focusing on everything you think you should be doing, focus on glorifying God through what you do.
Advice #2 – Be flexible with change
After moving back to the states from Mexico, Andrew and I decided that the best place for our kids to grow up would be a house in the country. We had a beautiful piece of land with a small house that was surrounded by trees. We loved that our kids were growing up in the outdoors.
During this time I also decided that I needed to homeschool our kids. This experience was a mixture of rewarding and challenging at the same time.
Fast forward three years later and our lives have completely changed. We decided to move to a house in the city and our kids will start going to school this year (Find more about what led to us making all these changes here.)
What I am trying to say by sharing this massive shift in our decision making process is that it is alright to change your mind about things as your life circumstances require.
You and your husband know what is best for your kids, you know what is best for your family.
Be flexible with the changes that need to happen with life in order for you to focus on the right things and prioritize what is best for your family in and out of changing seasons.
Advice #3 – Focus on the goal, not on a bad day
I have four kids and they are all different in the way they show their feelings. Some are better listeners than the others. All of them, at some point, have made all eyes turn to look at us (not in a kind way.)
It is during these times when it is hard to focus on God’s plan for our children because of our desire to have kids that make us look as if we are great at parenting.
Lysa TerKeurst, president of Proverbs 31 Ministries puts it the best way:
“Maybe God’s goal wasn’t for me to raise a good rule following child. God’s goal was for me to raise a God-following adult.”
You can find her blog “I Don’t Want To Raise A Good Child” here.
Friends, God doesn’t make mistakes and in his infinite wisdom and grace, He saw fit to make YOU your kids’ mom.
I pray that these three pieces of advice will help you to get through those challenging moments and come out to the other side feeling like you gave your best.