Finding Your Identity Outside Of Motherhood


My kids just recently had a field trip to the zoo for their last day of school and I went to chaperone my daughter’s first grade class. I learned some things about identity during this trip.

If you’ve never chaperoned a first-grade field trip just have a fun day at the zoo but make sure you’re holding a stack of maps no one wants (but HAD to have 10 minutes ago) and then every three minutes announce how many more minutes there are until lunch time?…that’s basically it. 

As we walked with the class I noticed that I was  introducing myself to kids and other parents as “Oliver’s mom” or “Lollie’s mom”. 

I’m not sure if I ever said, “Hi, I’m Jen” one time.

While I take MASSIVE pride in those titles there are times when tiny lies can sneak into my mind and tell me that my identity is “just a mom.”

You are more than just a mama

When we start to define ourselves or let others define us we can very quickly run into trouble.  Being a mom of four young kids means that most of my days are filled with…well, being the mom of four young kids. 

I love my life, I wouldn’t trade it for anything but Jesus doesn’t want me to find my identity in motherhood.  He created motherhood to point me back to him. 

Motherhood is deeply rooted in God’s heart. In your role, as mama, you reflect a perfect character trait of God himself. 

We often lose sight of this truth, and then when we fail, when we yell, when we spend too much time on our phone, when we forget to send them to school in gym shoes because its gym day & when we burn dinner we start to lose a little bit of pride in that role. 

This thought repeats like a broken record…“If this is who I am then I am nothing because I am failing.”  

Finding your identity outside of motherhood

So what is my identity?

I want you to look into the mirror today and remember who you are. 

Remember who you were when you were 8 years old, and 18 years old.  See past the messy hair & the tired eyes and the donut handprint on your boob (…no? that’s never happened to you? Well, as long as you tell me you’ve worn vomit then we can still be friends.) 

Look at yourself and remember that God made you unlike anyone else but so much like Himself.  

Look at yourself and remember that God has incredibly beautiful things to say about His kids.  If you have the Holy Spirit living inside of you, you have so many reasons to know your worth!

You’re a child of God, a friend of God, a co-heir with Christ, a temple of the Holy spirit, a new creation, part of a body, a citizen of heaven.  You’re redeemed, rescued, forgiven, strong, sealed, beloved, blessed, complete – you’ve been set free from shame and regret and made alive! 

The Living God — the creator of the universe — has declared that

 over you. 

How do I start believing this?

You are not just a mom.

In fact, you are not just anything.

If you speak the words, “I am worthless, I am just a ______ , I am ugly, I am unable, I am defeated, I am unforgivable” then you will live there, you will live in that mindset. So, stop speaking lies and start speaking truth.

I’m not who I say I am, I’m not who the world says I am…I am who God says I am! 

He took His time creating you and designing you.  He has given you dreams and ideas and He has given you talents and spiritual gifts in order to accomplish those dreams!  

Pray this prayer with me this week: God, thank you for giving me incredible worth. Thank you for giving me your word so that I can hear your voice speak truth over me.  Help me to remember my worth and stop making excuses for why I can’t live an abundant life for you.  Thank you for the roles you’ve given me (wife, friend, mama) but my heart’s desire is that my identity is deeply rooted in YOU and you alone. Amen. 




Jen loves sharing everything she learns from a God who has endless inspiration and wisdom for her (and you)! She is a bio and adoptive mama to four of the coolest kiddos in the galaxy and a wife to the most creative stud alive, Andrew. She is the worship leader at her home church, Grace chapel, and she is currently writing her first book. Her blog is where she writes about God’s endless inspiration, rasing creative kids, building her family’s dream home by the river, adoption , being in ministry and her best friend, Jesus.
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  1. Jun 6, 2018 2:31 pm

    This is so very true. I lost sight of myself when I became and mom the first time. Now I am doing much better. I now introduce myself as Zuri-Starr, Zaire and Zayn’s Mom.

    • Jun 6, 2018 5:34 pm


      First of all I LOVE your names! And yes, I remember how hard it was after my first was baby to remember who I was outside of my new role as mom. But Jesus is faithful to give us constant, steady reminders that we are His kids and we whether we succeed or fail in our many roles, who I am in Him never changes🙌🏼 – Jen

  2. Jun 6, 2018 5:16 pm

    It is very important to maintain our identity as moms. It’s so easy to get lost in motherhood.

    • Jun 6, 2018 5:39 pm


      I totally agree. Motherhood, while it is a huge blessing, is very consuming. It’s so important to remember that when our days can seem repetitive with what some would deem insignificant (laundry, diapers, homework…) we were designed, by the King of creativity Himself, with unique gifts and abilities! And motherhood is a perfect place to utilize those gifts!

  3. Jun 6, 2018 9:05 pm

    Thank you for such an insightful post. I recently had a baby about 4 months ago and figuring out who I am now is so different compared to before not having any children.

    • Jun 7, 2018 12:46 am


      I get that, the first transition is really hard. Just try to take time to do the things you have always loved to do and remember that even tho we change and our circumstances change — God never changes! Who He is and who we are in Him is the one constant! (🙌🏼)

  4. Jun 6, 2018 10:23 pm

    Amen indeed! Beautiful post. It’s a great reminder of why we should appreciate ourselves more! Thank you Jen

    • Jun 7, 2018 12:47 am

      @Nicole Gore

      Thanks Nicole! It’s something I have had to relearn year after year but thankfully Jesus is patient and willing to remind me every. single. time. ❤️❤️

  5. Jun 7, 2018 12:11 am

    This is important to realize . Amazing post.

    • Jun 7, 2018 12:49 am


      I’m so glad you were encouraged❤️

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