I often wonder if I am sufficient enough to be the mom my kids need. Sometimes, I feel defeated by huge mom fails. I compare myself with other moms that I believe have it all together. Social media makes feeling like this even easier, and then I remember my childhood and the guilt begins to fade away.
I grew up with a great example of a mom that didn’t have it all together. She wasn’t a Pinterest type of a mom. She worked two teaching jobs for awhile and then became a pastor’s wife. Understandably, her energy levels were often low. What I am trying to say is that she wasn’t the type of mom that this world portrays as the perfect mom. But, she was perfect for me.
She was the mom I needed.
I have so many stories to tell about the woman that taught me about the heart of Christ and helped grow me into the woman I am today. I will only focus on two (in this blog post) that helped me to learn how to be the mom that my kids need and I wanted to share them with you.
Be Present When They Need You to Listen
I remember it as if it was yesterday. I was 12 years old, about to become a preteen. The lights were off, and my skin felt sticky and hot. Back then, having air conditioning was a luxury in Mexico (where I grew up.) I was lying in bed ready to sleep. I just needed to do one more thing to complete my nightly routine.
“Mami! Could you please come and pray for me!” I know now just how incredibly tired she was on those nights. Being a pastor’s wife often entails giving more of yourself than you have. On top of that, she also had three teenage girls. She never complained though, or at least I don’t remember her complaining.
I called her into my room every night until I moved out to go to college. (Who am I kidding, I still called her then, but on the phone) She knew everything about me. Every night she would listen to every thought, feeling, and story from my day. She was my confidant.
She was always ready when I needed her. She always cared about what was going on in my little mind. Even as a child.
Grant Grace Instead of Judgement
I was 16 when I was allowed to have my very first official boyfriend.
It lasted one month, and let’s just say I learned the movies are mostly fabricated stories.
When your impulsive child goes against your warnings, and then thinks their world is crashing down, an “I told you so” with a stern look will just make things worse.
It was the first time my heart had been broken and as result of that it was hard for me to trust other guys. I will never forget the night that I opened up my heart to my mom about all the hurt that I was feeling.
She didn’t see me as an emotional teenager, there was compassion in her eyes. She really wanted to understand where I was coming from.
She opened the Bible and started pouring truth into my heart. She never judged me. She granted me the grace that I needed in that moment. She cried with me and guided me back to freedom in Jesus.
That night she taught me unconditional love.
There are so many voices, so much pressure for moms to be “perfect.” The bad days leave us feeling guilty or worse yet, ashamed.
Instead, we need to focus on making the good days unforgettable and holding on to those moments as the bulwarks of our experiences as moms.
God picked you to be your kids’ mom. He doesn’t make mistakes. You are the exact perfect mom designed for your kids. Don’t let anything or anyone ever convince you differently.
Let’s talk again soon…