“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts” – Psalm 139 We all long to be known. To feel like some one sees us. But what if being known, being real, entails the deepest parts of our soul.
What if being seen involves the sin that is still making us feel captive.
Writing has made me see my sin more than ever. Sometimes, I feel like a hypocrite. What if my actions don’t resemble the person that I portray in my words? What if “the real me” is more than I am willing to let you know about?
I get scared sometimes because I know that my ugly moments are intimidating. Luckily, today, when that happened, I was then reminded by my husband that authenticity is lacking in this world and the tears and words I was sharing with him on the phone were exactly what others need to hear. (You can read more about my story here)
Today this feeling was really strong. I called Andrew and I told him “I shouldn’t write anymore.”
Why did I say that if I love writing?
Those words were hiding my true feelings. I’m afraid of what else I will find about myself as I dig deeper into this process of sharing the reality of my life. I’m afraid of comparing myself to others because I am the mom that doesn’t have it all put together and now you, and everyone else, knows that.
So what is there to gain from opening my heart to those that need to hear these words? The satisfaction of knowing that in my vulnerability someone else felt known and seen. Someone else felt understood and not alone.
I want you to know that every blog I write is with you (yes, you!) in mind.
I know how hard motherhood can be. Having so much love for a person (or persons) can be exhausting.
Giving your all every day and not asking for anything in return can be disheartening.
I am a strong believer of sharing your story. God gave you the gift of your experiences (good or bad) so others can enrich their lives through hearing them. If you are ready to take this step, let my blog be your platform. Send me your story and I will publish it for you.
In this world filled with fancy facades and appealing appearances let this blog be where you can find the real!
Let’s talk again soon 🙂